i showed five minutes of my piece last night - to the DANCE community. dancers that intimidate me because of their power over an accepted technical foundation (ballet) which i have worked to confound/protest/counteract for my whole career as a dancer. but face to face with this certain EYE i get nervous. but i did it.
this morning with ruthie in the kitchen - she apologizes for not being there. she says sarah told her about it and did a little of the movement.
i wonder what/how she chose to interpet
ruthie said sarah flung herself (limbs in disarray) and then crashed into the window/wall.
that is one moment, true.
but the majority of the dancing (from my perspective) is that carefully constructed gestural work.
i am immediately shamed. to have let this community see my raw side. because that particular moment is unchoreographed, is a few seconds where my instruction to myself is to hit a place of uncontrolled.
this is interesting to me.
i don't know how to make sense of it just yet.
but as i read Judith Wilson's article "New (Art) Histories: Global Shifts, Uneasy Exchanges"
I wonder why in dance studies there is no critique that i have found yet, of the locking into ballet as the foundational structure from which modern and postmodern dance align themselves.
something....
story:
at the high school where i do the Jacob's Pillow program: one year, an english class. they were reading "Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man". The teacher and I had decided that we would use movement as a way for students to track and explore the recurring water imagery and its devolpment throughout the novel. Three young women made an amazing, passionate movement sequence for their study. Tracking three water imagery changes. In preparation for the sharing, one of the young women couldn't be there. They asked me to dance her part. I paused: should I "correct" her dancing, make it more aligned to a stronger technical base, or actually try and learn her idiosyncratic, released dance? The politics made the choice hard, too. At the sharing would be all the people from Jacob's Pillow, including the Executive Director. I would be "seen" dancing - how did I want to be seen? To who were my allegiances - the politics/power of my field, or to the student?
I chose the student.
ah well.
story of my life.
love, c
Hey Celeste-
ReplyDeleteGood work
Yes, being "seen" by the external EYE
or gaze is calculated to make categories operational that confirm status and power, in my view. Very interesting that the moment of release was the one remembered, that signified the dance. In my memory of modern dance. at least, that sense was always very hard to achieve and much admired. Ironic.
Have you gotten other comments?
Ann