running into walls, OR when your life is your own allegory

okay. so i have had so much in my head lately.... ever since completing the (head-y) MFA -
and: have been feeling stuck in my artmaking. I have been bored (maybe not "bored" but feeling empty) with the performance mode of performer/audience seperation of roles. Performer performs, audience watches. I know I can do it. I do it well. But it is feeling empty. but this information has been making me just want to go take a nap.


so it was such a gift to be invited by Ann to perform The Annunciation at Virginia Tech a few weeks ago. In an environment that encouraged (challenged) me to step beyond the limits of
THIS IS A PERFORMANCE...
THE PERFORMER GOES HERE, THE AUDIENCE SITS THERE.
LIGHTS ON,
PERFORMANCE GO,
LIGHTS OUT,
PERFORMANCE OVER.

But here is my favorite thing that happened.
I ran into a wall.
Literally.
Twice!!!
During the performance - both performances! Same Wall!

Really hard. I could have (or maybe I did.....) given my self a concussion.
(Ann checked my eyes, said they looked ok)

The performance really pushed some boundaries for me of how to engage the audience, how to play with time, engagement, intimacy, "celebrity" -
ANd I am very excited about what happened. I realize I am stepping even further onto the fringes of the dance and performance world. Its bad enough I dance, then I dance and talk, then I get old and refuse to stop dancing, then I reject the marketplace system that has provided my "success" and "getting a gig" life for so long..... and now I am messing with core fundamentals of the relationship between performer and spectator, while still desiring to make meaning and to make it matter.
So I ran into a wall.
twice.
hard.
same wall. and the second time i did it, i was also locked out of the theatre because for some (unknown) reason the door for my entrance was locked and i had to find a new way in...
so here I am - running into walls, getting locked out.... and really excited about what happens next

dance-making as research

Chip and I premiered "The Annunciation" at ADF ten days ago. After the performance I left Durham and drove to Blacksburg to spend time with Ann (Kilkelly thesis advisor) and Carol; and to reconnect with Normando.
To be in the mountains to reflect.
Now I'm at Hollins embarking on the written part of the thesis.
The writing I embark on for these next two weeks will be a reflection on the document of the research. (the dance)

The exploratory part of the research process, the artistic process with its objective to make something: the document of the research - in this case that document being the performance: the performance is the Thesis, the document of my research.

So this is different. This is the reflection on that!

Here's the tricky part, to remember/recall what was that process of that exploration? What were the processes of research? My embodied research process is always very particular.
It involves reading, yes.
It involves seeking out information in dialogue with other people, yes.
It involves thinking through that information, yes.
It involves responding to that information and testing it in relationship to other information.
But its the How that is the embodied practice. The material that is gathered is then deciphered into ideas/actions of the Body: gesture, direction, energy, shape, time, interiority/exteriority, liminality, intent, ephemerality...

I sat down to start my writing by writing about the process. And I realized its all here, in this blog. I like that if I keep this as my process section - the reader goes backward through time.
This way the events (epiphanies, activities, questions) proceed their announcement.
Their annunciation.

Chip's snacking thoughts

I say give 'em a choice:

Angel Food Cake
Devil's Food Cake

-Chip

Nicole snacking thoughts

I like angel food cake. also pomegranates and figs. For some reason almonds come to mind. Makes me wonder if the food should be in a suitcase, like the fuller brush man....
love,
Nicole

snacking

okay y'all! these just in:

first thought
pickels
xodana

Angel-food cake of course!
Kobutsu

snack of the annunciaition

Would love input on this question......
I know there is a Feast of the Annunciation, and I always like to share food at the beginning of a performance. I usually give out oreo cookies. What food/snack might welcome us into this piece? thoughts?

dancing in the magnolias

there was no studio space available today. and i am getting anxious about rehearsing. yesterday the weather took a break from the stifling heat and i found a little sheltered space under two huge. i mean huge magnolias. right near a fountain. so you also get the sound of water. when i couldn't find studio space again today, i went back to the magnolias. of course dancing outside changes everything. and asked of me to "rehearse" differently.
i started scanning the movement for: when does a movement "announce" itself. I also looked at those jump cut transition places between the voices of self and narrator and commentator to see what i could discover about how a transition is an announcement, an announcement of an idea, a new idea. how to get your own attention. how to "ahem" to yourself.
i practiced the mantric chanting of the word annunciation with one of the trees (with its permission hopefully) the tree was kind enough to support me.
the movement changed because of the texture of the ground. of course. i loved the sound of moving through the dead magnolia leaves. they are huge and brown. i was reminded of dancing in the costa rican jungle.
today, it wasn't really an opportunity to rehearse, as in the dance as it is for a stage space. but it was a movement meditation space to explore moments of inquiry.
what are the moments the movement opens a door?
what are the moments the movement finds safety in definition, or finds release in definition, and everything inbetween?.
when does a movement define itself?
i'm really tired. i think i'll take a nap in the bosom of a magnolia tree.
.

video update

I finally loaded in the last rehearsal with Nicole, which is the full piece as it currently stands. Link to the right "rehearsal videos"

rehearsing your 90th birthday

Part 1: My mom just turned 90. She's doing great. Lives on her own. All that good stuff.

Part 2: I took a workshop with Eiko & Koma yesterday. A very beautiful exercise.... basically we ended up with partners. Eiko had told a story about their work earlier that week with some elders in a nursing home. And dancing with a 90 year old woman, "choreographing" her. With our partner, they closed their eyes, and we were to very gently move them into a dance for a 90 year old. Very slow, gentle, elegantly simple. The person being guided was to remember the movements and then "perform" them - and to infuse each movement with a 90 year old history. I thought about how we could rehearse now, for our 90th birthday. SO because I am dancing Mary these days - I am thinking of having a section where Mary rehearses her 90th birthday.

Connecting to the idea of the differences between Angel time and Human time - which also comes from the "rock time" thoughts I had in Argentina. In Argentina we were at this amazing desert place - Talampaya. Where these huge huge rocks balanced impossibly on the landscape. I wondered why they didn't fall. Until it occured to me - they are falling. Its just that they are moving in rock time, and in my human time I can't see the motion.
When Gabriel comes back to visit Mary, he thinks he's only been gone a day or two. but she is in human time. years have passed...

I have to stop writing. I am supposed to be reading: Objectivism's Consonance

epiphany at the water fountain

Today I finished teaching my 8am class and went to get some food before heading to the studio to work. And when I got to the store, I was feeling really bad. So I thought I needed just to eat raw, fresh food. Luckily I was at WHOLE FOODS and could get organic fresh fruit from the salad bar. Or, you could say I was shopping at WHOLE PAYCHEK and was paying an exorbitant amount for fresh fruit… both these statements, and more, are true,

I got my fruit, and found a shady spot to eat. (A challenge in this heat) But I still didn’t feel well, and started freaking out about getting sick. So I decided I was maybe dehydrated (it is really hot) and my water bottle was empty – has been empty. Then I thought, no, I am just really exhausted. I am starting working at 7am and I don’t get home until after 9. I’m old. I’m tired. It’s hot. Maybe I need a nap.

Okay, where?
Oh, this brings up so many dilemmas about finding safe places to sleep; we don’t even want to go there.

So there is an “MFA Lounge” on campus. I figured I’d go there. There’s a couch. The only people coming in and out are people I feel safe with… so I crossed campus, in the heat, my backpack (the load I place on myself) is really heavy – my computer, all the books I have to read, my water bottle, a change of clothes… (ok ok I am really cranky…..)

And I get to the lounge and there is a meeting going on.
Now I am tired and thirsty. For some reason I can’t seem to figure out where a water fountain is. For those of you who know this campus, this thought is absurd. Every building has a water fountain. But I can only think of one place that has a water fountain. That’s the building (across campus) where I teach my composition class. A building that is shared by the art department and the theatre department.

So off I go. Luckily my car is parked in front of that building and I tell myself I will fill my water bottle and drop off some of these books in my car! I can only read so much at a time…. (cranky, I told you)

But on my way across campus one of my students spots me and comes running up to me
“Did you see my journal after class today? I think I left it in the classroom.”

I apologize. I was so focused on packing up that I didn’t see a stray journal.

She continues, “ I tried to go back and look for it, but my keycard wouldn’t open the door.”

So I told her we should go together and maybe my card would open the door. So we went. And my card worked. And her journal was there. What a beautiful thing. This student is so sweet, and so young – her energy a gift to the world.

Then I said goodbye to her and was standing in this empty classroom, which is a small theatre space, and I was so tired and I realized: its lunchtime. No one is coming in here for at least half an hour. I can get some rest. So I found a hidden space and set my alarm on my phone and did my breathing/resting practice.

I came back to the world and felt better for an instant. And then felt bad again. I decided it was the water thing. And maybe I was getting sick, too. So I pulled out my Airborne salvation, and headed for the water fountain to dissolve the airborne tablet. The water fountain (the only one I could picture in my mind on the whole East Campus of Duke University) is on the first floor, which is in the Art Department.

I popped the Airborne into my water bottle, and filled it with water. Then swished it around so it would dissolve. And swished and swished. Impatient, worried, frantic…. And my eyes wandered to a display..

(okay, it’s been a long wait, but here comes the epiphany)

Here’s what the display said at the end: "Comparison of Europa becomes the archetype of the mother goddess and the priestess. Europa iconography will persist in roman goddess cults and Christian Mary imagery."

After reading the full display, looking at the art work. I felt instantly better.

Here's the whole text, by Art Beacham.

A Woman on a Bull: an icon of cultural unity or assertion of female sexuality?

Of the many recurring themes in Archaic and Classic Greek art the depiction of a woman grasping at or mounted upon a bull is one of the most ambiguous. On the one hand it references one of several stories that unify the pan Hellenic culture in a common Jovian ancestry. That is the rape of Europa by Zeus manifested as a white bull which was one of several myths in which Zeus’ liaisons with moral women resulted in offspring who became the founders and princes of Hellenic states and nations. In this case Europa’s son by Zeus was King Minos of Crete. On the other hand, of the many forms which Zeus assumed for these liaisons such as a cloud a shower of gold or a swan this of a bull is the most sexually prodigious of the maiden’s violation against the ecstasy of her epiphany at the honor of her election.
The tension created by the moral impasse, that is the rape of Europa, found release in an alter maiden and bull iconography, this is a solution unique in classical art and as such a measure of the conflict the image evoked. The image of a maenad upon a white bull both reference the Europa story and gave voice to feminine sexuality in a sanctioned context we are to understand that in the frenzy of a bacchanal a woman mounts a bull to suggest her desire for the consummation forced upon Europa. Through this image the artist and the audience are free to indulge in an otherwise inadmissible perspective, on that both acknowledges and avoids the sexual inferences of a sacred myth.
Notwithstanding the bacchanal was the religious equal of a Jovian genealogy; reek traditions embraced all that was human as fit for reverence yet while the Europa iconography ins congruent with the maenad iconography the bacchanal is not congruent with Jovian mythology that is while seeing a maenad on a bull recalls the Europa myth, a depiction of Europa does not reference a bacchanal. This circumstance encodes a moral hierarchy in Greek religious thought the maenad is the common denominator of feminine nature while Europa is the virgin conduit of a divine heritage. In this context the archaic and classical Greek artist needed details that conveyed a distinction. Dolphins and waves beneath the bull indicated the Europa story, as Zeus carried her to Crete and vies indicated a bacchanal, but the chosen maiden herself needed distinction, esp. if she was to be recognized in other depictions. Thus the mine, headdress, and hand gestures were also elements of Europa's iconography.
- Hugh Beachum, ART 103 Duke University.

If you haven't read the comment I posted to Kobutsu's Trinitarian post, read that, too. Love to all.

Trinitarianism, from Kobutsu

In thinking about it, the Annunciation is the underpinning of the
development of Trinitarianism. It is the moment the god intervenes (to

reformat himself)? And create the son, the second person god. This
was somehow necessary to break with the Jewish tradition. Mary was
the first person to be told of; and demonstrated to, the concept of
Trinity.

In the Abrahamic traditions, the creation of god, in the image and
likeness of man replete with wrath and dominion-over is the defining
of self. It is like a gelling, a solidification of boundaries, the
establishment of center and fringe. The instant "god" is; "I" is born,

"other" is co-created and so forth marches dualistic cosmology!

The thing with the dualistic perspective is that it is fundamentally
empty, it is untrue. We only see folds and ripples in the cloth - not
the warp and weft of the fabric.

Dualism is ubiquitously present in our culture, arts, and sciences -
as to be unnoticeable. Dualism is The Matrix.

The practice of zazen is what enables us to gain perspective on the
convolutions of illusion.
- Kobutsu

From Chip

I listened to Kobutsu's recording. It's interesting, the parallel he
draws.
Who knew a mystical Catholic word could become a mystical Bhuddist
word? I
heard an interview with Ravi Shankar's daughter, I forget her name, she
talks about how important the m sound in om is, that you have to hold
it and
feel the vibration. Kobutsu puts vibrato in his chanting, something I
don't
recall hearing from the Asian monks. I'm now taking your Aaah and Ciiii
and
playing the pitches A and C along with them, a bit of musical mysticism
that
maybe only the audience members with perfect pitch will get, but those
2
pitches become central to the piece. Mary's pitch is A, and Gabriel's
is C.
Sort of.

Chip

Kobutsu's link

Check it out. To the right you will see a link to Kobutsu's mp3 recording.

in the universe

for those of you who have watched the videos - i have been working on the opening section, the attempts at finding the voice... anyway. you can watch. when i started working on this section - last summer - i was working on finding movement based on the sounds of the word, annunciation, which came out to me as:
ah
none
see
A
shun.
I then let the sounding inform the movement and the movement inform the sound. I played with the sounds, as well as the "meaning" of those words - until the phrase began to emerge. Chip and I, with Nicole's direction broke down the getting to that section to include: a forced first breath, a coughing as words get caught trying to get out, finally into the first "ahhh" sound.
Then just this morning, this came in from Kobutsu. The universe - ahhhh. (I will try and post the MP4 as well. hope it works)

Dear Celeste,

The vocalization-literation (I don't know how else to put it) -- the dramatic sounding-out of the emphasized syllables that you begin your sequence on the rehearsal video -- very much reminds me of a technique I have been using for years in chanting instruction. Your instructive vocalization is a brilliant segway into the story.

I'm not sure I can properly convey this in text. I will consider this and perhaps make a little MP4 on it later today. What is most familiar is the initial sounding of the Aaah sound.... It is the first syllable found in the oft' mis-chanted OM mantra (particularly in the Hindu tradition) It does not contain the "hard" "O" sound, and it does not contain two syllables; rather, three. It begins with the Aaah sound (the first sound we make as infants) coming from the deep far back of the throat, goes into a soft "auh" or "ooo" sound and ends with a more forceful (sort of "capping") sound: humm or huum.

Writing this in text is clumsy for me, I do not know the proper diacritical marks to place over the vowels to convey the sound.

OK, I just dug out the iPod and microphone. (Amazing what gadgetry we 21st century monks work with! I was amused in South East Asia to find that every monk and his brother has a cell phone. Not only that, but these days, monk's robes are now all made with cell-phone pockets sewn into them. Thankfully, I do not own a cell phone. )
Kobutsu

From Kobutsu: tiddly winks

Hail Mary of Nazareth full of space, expansive sufficient to house the

son of God. An agent of eternal security dropped by to knock lobes on

the babe and train; always with the logistics. I stashed the files on

every thing; everywhere and nowhere.

The aerial capable agents are lame, just look at the condition of
their wings, ratty edges, clumps of feathers amiss. You wonder where
they get these guys, the “B” squad; heaven’s second string.

God doesn’t place dice with the universe ~ too complicated. He plays

tiddly-winks with the universe ~ more lively and fun. It is so
righteous of us to include ourselves into the upper crust of the
primordial pond-scum. Crème de la scum.

Don’t be without an Islam awareness wristwatch, see emerging trends
in
close to realtime. Up to the minute population counts, migration
patterns. Federal Emergency preparedness color charts. Watch the
colors change as we get more and more paranoid.
- Kobutusu

From Nicole

So here are some quick thoughts that pop into my mind. Choice. Looked it up in the dictionary and it mentions the act of selecting. I like "act of"- very active, direct, no meandering. Hm... wish it was always that easy... choice often isn't though, it's not often pick good over evil in a clear cut way.... life is much more complicated, finicky, there is much weighing of options. This story has amongst other things for me, an ongoing metaphor of choice and through that nuance. And not just Mary, there is Gabriel who faces many a choice. And God. Ah, so (wishing I could move, talk , and type as I might find this faster...) is weight part of this ongoing choice/selection? Would that help lead you out? Or as with our many conversations is it as simple as the monkey brain takes over, curious and impatient for information? Or as with decision making, is it a meandering way? Which then I ask, is it in the head? usually my first instinct is from the gut, but the monkey brain, the meandering in and out of thoughts... maybe the head pops you up? Or head and weight meet the feet and there you are, facing a part of yourself? Not quite ready for that as Narrator, Mary or Gabriel, you pop to information seeking mode? A safety net that mode sometimes...
All for now.... goodnight! Nicole

Dancing and Thinking

In the studio. ADF. A hot day in June.
So when I work I love the interplay between thinking and dancing, dancing through thinking and thinking through dancing. it’s the dancing that informs the thinking, the thinking that informs the dancing. Which is on my mind (body) (how come things are “on our minds” but “in our bodies” and can also be “in my mind” but “on my body” is entirely different)
But. And.
Butt
I’m thinking about our most recent reading assigned by Tommy DeFrantz for our History and Theory class. The reading (Human Rights – Not like a Document, Like a Dance” by Lisa Doolittle and Anne Flynn) discusses the ever fretful dualism of mind/body – and I am really intrigued by their reference to Gilbert Ryle’s “Concept of Mind”: “Why are people so strongly drawn to believe, in the face of their owndaily experience, that the intelligent execution of an operations must embody two processes, one of doing and another of theorizing?”

– but let’s cut to the chase –

Here is what is grabbing me right now.
In the studio
As I work on the transitions between the moments of “being inside the ahhhh sound of annunciation” and then the pulling out of them to ask for definitions. As in being in the body of understanding is somehow not valid and must be validated by the “dictionary”, the Authority. (of course this is part of what I am playing with between the three voices – my own personal trinity:

The narrator – who can only speak through definitions
Gabriel – who rehearses his words
Mary – who has an alphabet that spills from her mouth, and can gesture/but not speak the “no”.

(thank you to the students and teachers at monument mountain regional high school who watched the piece last Spring, and engaged in a lengthy discussion out of which this thinking came)

And of course there is the “me” in there, who is the container of the performance. Who storytells as biased observer, observer who “must” tell the story for her own “annunciation salvation”. Maybe like my Snow White piece there is some reclamation that I am doing here. When I wrote last about can’t get beyond the “rape” – and it bothered me to place rape in quotations, and yet I felt I wouldn’t be as clearly understood if I didn’t… hmmmm

But back to how the dance gives me the information!
So I am working out the technicality of I have certain movements that I want to “interrupt” to get to another idea/movement. And I am working on how to interupt those movements. Nicole and I worked with this a lot (thanks Nicole). So I can be inside a movement and
- just drop it. Pedestrian. Step out of it.
- I can use one body part to push the rest of the body into a transition. Push, entice, yank, coerce, extract….
- I can practice what I was practicing in the Costa Rica jungle. To just stay in a position until the something happened that would alter that position. But to not “think” through that moment. To just be in the moment. Let all the jokes be the why.
- I can “pull myself together” which is what I just tried. It was interesting. It led me to think about the safety of the definition section that always follows.
Words as safety. Its easier to talk about somethings than to do them (I’m thinking about righting wrongs)

Words as authority. The power of the one with the words, the “right” words, the most intellectual words, or the most cynical words.

“You’re out of control.” “Pull yourself together”. “You’re being hysterical” “Hysteria is a woman’s disease” (1950 American Medical system). “Calm down, just tell me what happened.”

It should be a beautiful thing. To be announced to. By an Angel. A loving angel. “fear not” it whispers, wrapping you in soft wings of protection. “fear not”.

“Yeah, right. “Fear not” – I’ve heard that line before….” Mumbles Mary’s mother in the other room.

Okay.
Back to dancing.
I was momentarily distracted by the page and now I’ve lost my choo choo train of thought.

If you want an assignment. Here is one.
Find yourself in a luscious movement opening, that by physical limitations must come to an end. some of you may have bodies young enough that "end" never happens -but you can try...
When you get to the end. Find a reason to transition into the "dropping" of that movement, and the entering into a direct face to face with (whoever) your audience is. (Maybe your dog or cat is watching, or the bird outside your window.) Figure out different ways to make that transition. Tell me what you discover.


(If you are reading this and are very confused…. Look at one of the rehearsal videos. I am working on the first transition between the big “AHhhhh” and the first definition of Annunciation. This informs how each subsequent break between being “in” the moment and stepping out of the moment to define the words is being developed.)

What's behind the story

Kobutsu just asked "What is the "lesson" being
propagated by this story?" and that is a main question for me. I guess being raised as a Unitarian, I always look for the metaphor in the stories - and believe that they (the stories) are there for us as metaphors. Not history. So I keep asking myself what is the metaphor in the Annunciation? But the "rape" keeps getting in my way. Then I came across this idea: from Ken Mogi (read the whole thing on his blog - link above and also in the resources links to the right). From Ken Mogi:

"The annunciation.
When a new idea visits us, the archangel Gabriel kneels before us, telling us that a new idea has been conceived. The idea does not stand still. Once conceived, it keeps growing, matures, until finally a fruit is borne.
Life is a vast ocean of change in which the annunciation might visit us at any moment. The miracle is to be found in the most subtle symptoms. We thus breathe on earth forever enthralled." - Ken Mogi

littlejoke's musing from a few days ago

little joke sent this one to me a few days ago. I so love that everyone is taking and playing with this and doing this amazing storytelling! Little Joke is right on our wave length - the idea about multiple versions.

from littlejoke:

"not sure where this would go, but what if there were multiple versions
of the annunciation?

what if one version was indeed the macho Gabriel announcing what is
effectively a rape?

what if an alternate version is a screwup Gabriel who bogged down in
Persia and had to be rescued on the Daniel mission and who reacts to
Mary's prolonged silence after his pronouncement by looking
disappointed, then scared, then embarrassed, and then starts backing
slowly out of the room still clutching his timidly presented lily ...
and Mary runs after him shouting, "No! No! I'll do it! Behold the
handmaid of the lord!"

and what if an alternate version....

just asking questions."

Kobutsu's Muse-ing "Hail Mary! Full of SPACE..."

This just in from my friend Kobutsu:

Hail Mary! Full of SPACE....

The Lord is desirous of your empty space babe.

Blessed art thou among first century Palestinian women - You are the
only one who bought the vacuum cleaner.

Woah! Hey Gabe, a lotta good this vacuum cleaner does me, we gots no
electric in first century Palestine. Good luck pitchin' them things.

Now you're pushin' for your boss to enter this empty space. Your
pimpin' for god not sellin' vacuum cleaners. I mean, let's get REAL
here... you comin' in here tellin' me I'm gonna be famous and shit but

I gotta go through the hell of watching my kid brutally beaten and
murdered. Nah...

I'll pass... And don't be commin' back with "offers" -- I ain't no
workin' girl. I'm pure virgin and stayin' that way thank you. There
ain't gonna be no fruits in this womb jack.

What ever's in, or not in this womb - is by invitation only, so don't
be comin' 'round here makin' no annunciations. An' don't be comin'
back with "better" offers, this ain't no bazaar. This space is not
for rent or sale.

I rejoice in my inner empty state. I don't need no electricity and
even if we had electric, where do I buy replacement bags for the
vacuum?

Gabe, you gotta get your act together -- try sellin' the machines and
makin' your annunciations over in Babylon, I hear business is boomin'
there.

the poem/text/working

Hi All - I realized that some of you know the poem/text that I have been working from. And some don't. So I am posting it. Look to the right and there are links to readings on the web. Click the one that says "Celeste's poem/text Original" and you can read it. The first part is what is shaping the text and movement for what I am currently at work on in the first solo. It of course, changes dimensionally (words lost, gesture added) as soon as it is in the body (on its feet) and not on the page.
Also - if you have a chance - check out previous blogs and the comments posted by new friend on our project.

looking for your comments

so much has happened in the past few days. sunday chip, sharon and i performed the piece at Java Monkey (a coffee house/wine bar) for Kodac Harrison/Rupert Fike's Sunday night poetry series. its a poetry event - but for poets, they are pretty concrete thinkers. and so it was great to feel the shift that had to take place in the room with the abstract base of this piece. and though if it is performed for a more abstract crowd (an abstract crowd????? now, that's a concept.. monkey brain stop!) anyway if it is performed for a crowd that is more on the abstract/modern dance end of the spectrum - it is too literal. ahhhh the border. i always play on the borders.

which makes me think about living between worlds, or as we say in the Herakles piece - he didn't really feel like he belonged in either world, so sometimes he fell asleep with his feet in one and his head in the other -

between two worlds. in this piece is the worlds of: spirit/body, music/voice/body, stage persona/human persona/audience. hmmm there are quite a few of these combinations. Anyone want to jump in here? I could go on for another six paragraphs on this concept. would love some other responses to building these. I am interested that i started with dualities (which i am so working to get beyond) and then i asked - where are the trinities? which of course in this piece you can't avoid the trinitarian concepts... and of course in general, am not interested in a restriction of numbers. rather than between two worlds, its actually that play between infinite worlds..... so this is one spider web spiral. here comes another.

when performing at java monkey (which went great by the way. including that the moment we finished the skies opened with a huge rain deluge. huge. so all the people on the patio watching had to make an instant dash for inside - thus delightfully thronging into the stage area. and after only a few more moments - a sheet of water, like a curtain, came pouring down, right on what would be the curtain line of the stage. the visual was gorgeous. the imminent danger to chip's violin which was on the stage was a little freaky - but all is well.

while performing at java monkey (back to the story, celeste) i remembered why i love to also perform my stage work in alternate spaces - cafes and the like. because they demand of me the improviser in the moment with the material. of course the stage is the size of a postage stamp, so all that great movement has to instantly rearrange, rescale, reinterpret.... and then there is also the immediacy of the audience. which can be immediate in the theatre, but is always immensely immediate and unpredictable in these kinds of places. its a great filter - asking of each and every moment for an honesty, upfrontness.... and also the great challenge of pulling off magic in that kind of a space.

for java monkey i had this wild last minute notion to invite the dancers who have been working with me - dana, suzanne, nicole and sharon to join the event. my idea was to have them spontaneously try and do the movements of the solo, while placed in odd places around the space. on a table, by a potted plant.... etc. sharon was the only one who could be there and so ended up being on the floor in front of the stage. i liked the sort of reflective, echoed sense that happened. its an idea i want to explore more, and with more dancers. especially to decide their role. are they a mirror? an echo? a commentary? a reflection? a distortion? another point of view?

i am still playing with the "no" moment. talking with nicole in our rehearsal today she helped me to realize something that might just be the "thesis" portion of this piece. I never speak the word no. I shake my head no. ANd many people miss it. Normando missed it! (that surprised me) and when we were talking later and he told me: "but you never get to Mary's "no"" And I said - (confused) "Yes, I do. I shake my head "no"" And he said - "oh.... right".
So if a shake of a head is not enough.... what does that say about being able to say "no" in our culture. It begins to say to me that the body doesn't matter. Unless the word is there, what is said doesn't count. and yet we are in a world (the USofA) that the words spoken are so much lies! mmmmm
WHich then the discussion is about the word and the body. I conciously made a choice that Mary's no would not be with a word sounded, but by the body. (Okay theologians and feminist scholars - jump in here. help me say what I am trying to say) And it is so interesting that a share of people who watch it feel the same way Normando did. They want to know where the "no" is. Interesting, the dancers who watch it are not flummoxed by this moment.... The director at Virginia Tech noted that he felt, delightfully, that because it is not spoken it becomes a "non-event", when the emotional set up by the title of the piece is that that moment will be THE event. So the play between our assumptions, expectations, and the concept of "non-event" are also very interesting to me.
So I continue to work with the physicality of the head shaking and to explore this moment in the piece.

In making the piece (thanks to the kids at monument mountain regional high school and their responses) it became clear to me that the use of body and word/voice is specific to each of the "characters" (i use "character" loosely, those of you who know me know how i feel about this convention of theatre). In the piece, the narrator can only speak through defintions, i.e. the words of a higher authority. Gabriel is rehearsing his lines. Mary doesn't form words, she has an alphabet that spills from her mouth. Chip/Violin has music. ahhhhh music. And body. And of course me, the thread, has body - the body that "speaks" between, for, of, translates .... for all the components. Actually it is interesting to think of the body(dance) and body(music) both as the intercessors between all... okay spiraling spider webs this strand is now blowing in the wind

on another strand- i was thinking about communihty members in the piece for when it is performed in its full blown verson at 7 Stages. i think i will set up an afterschool club at The Atlanta School next year to get some kids integrated into the piece. then thought about Moving in the Spirit, the AC (the teen company who i have worked with, and recently Dana and I set one of our pieces on them) Dana - this is news to you... here's an idea, see what you think. It would be lovely to have the AC have a piece just for them within this piece. I was also thinking it might be great to find 14 14-year olds (in honor of Mary) - or better yet "sort of 14, sort of 14-year olds" and set a section for them. reflecting on the "no"s and "yes"s in their lives.

I am pretty hung up on the number 14 for this piece. though i don't know how that manifests yet.

anyway that's it for now. i will try and get the java monkey video posted. and today's rehearsal. meanwhile i am off to the atlanta school for the midsummer night's dream project.
ciao! love you all.

Introduction

Thank you for inviting me Celeste.  I'll try to behave.

virtual worlds

this tuesday's rehearsal - i would like to move it to my garden. the grotto idea kind of. i'd like to play with the material generated by nicole (who is teaching it to dana) and suzanne that we were playing with in relationship to Chip playing and walking his carpet pattern. I'd like to move Sharon's phrase to come later - playing the faster version of it possibly against Sharon holding onto the slower version with Chip's music that layers the vocals of "and the holy spirit shall overcome thee". I'd like to film it in the garden. Since we are taping - I'd love it if Nicole and Dana could both dance it. See what happens. I'd like to have this as potentially some video footage that I can work with. Could everyone wear solid layers? Blues would be great. Whites could work, too (but risky if they are good whites and would be forever ruined by grass and mud stains)
VIsions of Mary. WHere has she appeared, to whom? when? why? I was in Clearwater Florida when she appeared on the side of a bank. Since I was there often, I got to be a part of the whole unfolding. I'm considering exploring that story. And its kind of tragic and ironic ending. Will post the link with more info soon. Thanks. Celeste

Rehearsal videos posted

Hey All - Thursdays and Todays rehearsal videos are now posted. Just click the link to the right that says "rehearsal videos" and you will be magically e-transported.
Thank you for today!

Hindu Goddesses and the Virgin Mary

Yup. That's the name of the book: "Divine Mother, Blessed Mother: Hindu Goddesses and the Virgin Mary" written by a Jesuit priest. Written from a feminist and post modern lens. Very interesting stuff. A quote: "Goddesses do not fit in easily with the established theological categories of the Western traditions. Jews, Christians, and Muslims have for the most part portrayed God as male and as not-female, even when at times going on to assert that God is in truth beyond gender, particularly beyond gender as constituted by physical characteristics. We cannot help but notice that it is a Father who is beyond gender, not a Mother; it is a Father, beyond gender, who sends His Son, and not His daughter, into the world; that Son in turn takes birth as a human male and not a human female. The God who is beyond gender is still called "God" and not "Goddess". - Francis X. Clooney, SJ, Divine Mother, Blessed Mother: Hindu Goddesses and the Virgin Mary, Oxford University Press, 2005.

So here's another spin in our spider web of imagining different ways we could tell the story/make it our story. Mary bargains with God - "Okay. I'll do it. But I want a girl."

Choice

I was in Fieldwork last week, and there was a conversation concerning marriage. A man in the group said "The woman I choose..." My immediate thought was "why are you doing all the choosing? Doesn't the woman have a say in the matter?" It really offended me as a feminist...I had always thought of marriage as a mutual decision. As I am still thinking of the conversation a week later, my thoughts are now drifting to the annunciation...Mary was the "chosen" woman, but yet she didn't have a choice at all. Not being a religious person, I had never projected my feminist ideals into the story; I suppose Christianity wasn't important enough to me to really think about how it did or didn't fit into my life. I'm needing to think on this some more...try to reconcile it in my head...if it is reconcilable. How does Mary not having a right to choose affect the rest of humanity? The story was created around a patriarchal Greco-Roman society. We don't live in that world anymore...How is this story of Mary applicable today? Much of the Bible has been reinterpreted to fit the current beliefs of a society. Why has this particular story stayed the same?

April 15th rehearsal

Mary is on my mind constantly. I continue to think about her and the decisions that she made. These thoughts became clear when we were looking at the images of her in the paintings. The ones that stood out for me were Mary in the school dress with the angel at the door, Mary sitting on the bed with the angel of light, and Mary in the spaghetti-strapped dress playing with her hair. In these images, Mary is so young. I've always viewed Mary as really young when she receives that message from Gabriel. I don't know why. I think it has something to do with me, the fact that I am young, and the number of opportunities given to me to do something for great or grand for other people. It was also interesting to me how in most of those images Mary was thinking or reading and the angel was presenting her with something, like flowers. I felt like the images was continually about Mary receiving knowledge and Gabriel giving something beautiful and alive. I felt like the movement/music material that we made somehow reflected that giving/receiving images. It may look totally different from the outside. I hope we keep revisiting this material again and again. I also hope that we talk about Mary's lineage. I feel like we can gain something from that knowledge.

April 15 rehearsal

Just back from Italy and feeling a bit of longing for Roma and displacement in Atlanta.  Rehearsal was nice re-entry.  Thinking about seeing the Pieta in Rome at St. Peter's and the incredible human moment of grief and loss. Felt right to be using paintings as visual prompts to move after seeing so much art in Rome. And kept seeing arc and bridges in everything I looked at, or responded that way at least.  Also in talking about vacuum cleaner salesmen, keep thinking about kinetic art piece I saw many years ago- The Bridge of Sighs, drawing on the Venice bridge where one could hear the sighs of all the condemned who had crossed it on their way to prison.  Was done with vacuum cleaners suspended from the ceiling that went off one after the other... at least in my memory that was it.

today's rehearsal

We worked from some Annunciation paintings., I brought copies of paintings. Classic to contemporary. (WIll post links soon. ) Asked dancers to decide on Gabriel or Mary and then study the paintings for small details, visual details, sweeps of movement, that could be translated into movement phrases. Chip did the same assignment, except translating into musical ideas. THen, my favorite choreographic activity - borrowed and shopped from everyone's phrases and let the three solos and chip's music find a layering. From observing the layering, my outside eye combined with the dancer and musician internal stage eye - we began to compose an ensemble section for the work.

annunciation paintings and photos of door to door salesman

imagine it. need I say more?
a door opens, a salesman on the outside, the housewife on the threshold.
send me your images.
and stories.

tips for selling door to door

death of a salesman celluloid and angel confusion

I've been into the traveling (vacuum cleaner) salesman part of Gabriel's story today. Online I found "secrets for succesful door to door salesmanship". I imagined Gabriel studying those tips. One was - get your client to start saying "yes' to simple questions so that when you ask the big one, they are in the habit (rehearsal) of saying yes. Like: Would you like to buy this vacuum cleaner? Would you like to be the mother of the son of God?

I imagined Gabriel studying. Being confused about whether he was selling vacuum cleaners, or selling Mary a bill of goods. More spiritual crisis as he enters the human realm of consumerism.

I have been wanting to do something with "Death of a Salesman". Today I had an image. To project the film of "Death of a Salesman" with Lee J. Cobb. Gabriel trying to interact with the celluloid image. The angel, unable to comprehend that "it's only a play, it's only a film". He feels the human pain and wants to ease it. The dance is between the celluliod actor and the incarnate angel. Raising the question of: who is in the body? who is embodied?Who is ephemeral in this moment? Who is the angel? Where does the suffering reside?

work in progress sharing at Virginia Tech, April 6

I performed a little “work in progress” for Ann Kilkelly (Thesis advisor) at Virginia Tech today. She invited a few people, so there were about six people to witness and discuss. The discussion opened lots of doors for me to see my way into new avenues for exploration, and current places that I can deepen. I was looking for general response, and an opportunity to have a discussion prompted by the work. To explore if the piece could prompt discussion – not just of the work, but of the concepts being played with in the work both content and aesthetically. I laid out three questions, and opened the door for additional discussion as well.

My questions were:
What gestural movements resonated, supplied an image (related or not to the content)?

Do you need to know “The Annunciation” to understand this commentary on the Annunciation?

What questions do you want to explore after seeing this piece? What personal question would you like me to ask you – that we might have in a coffee shop chat?

Following is an outline of the discussion/responses. Some were responses to my questions. Some were responses from the viewer’s own questions.

Gestural resonant: the deep “ahhhhh” at the beginning with the arms open. Resonant of a crucifixon and also some sort of silent scream to god. Also – the “computer” gesture, the silencing gesture, and the tripping over words.

The long section where there are no words – that begins with the pushing over of the lungs. – Felt like a camera directed to watch just where the hands were moving to next.

The alphabet falling – a stop in time. Suspended in time. Waiting for the “no”or for what that answer would be.

Discussion ensued about even though by the title I had set up the “no”, still in that moment time suspended and the answer was not apparent. Some wondered about that “no’ is just so ingrained as the wrong answer this confusion, doubt, becomes a strong moment. It is ordained that she must say ‘yes’ – confounds this moment. There actually is no option. It is ordained, she must say yes. One person said” even though I knew the title, I was still surprised when she said ‘no’”. There was discussion about whether I did have her say no, or not.

The piece suggests that angels can make mistakes.

Speech that won’t come out, speech that can’t get itself together.

Visuals: people felt very strongly about their visual image of the roof. One person said that it was especially the gesture and the image of the pebble kicked loose that nailed the image.

-It raised questions about gender and authority. The limitations of being in this world. Of choices, in small places.

Possible link to explore- in this current version Gabriel is a loveable, comic figure. What happens if he poses a threat? What makes her have to say yes or no to him? Why does he say “Fear not”?
What if Mary says no, but God says yes. Annunciation is a kind of rape. (I want to play with this in the moment where he is seeing his reflection in her eyes: what does he see?_)

Gabriel has performance anxiety.

If I go into the rest of the Hail Mary text, which invokes the rape imager – what happens?

What is Gabriel actually bringing?
Holy Spirit
Penetration

Looking at the role of Mary is intercessor. You can’t pray directly to God – you go through someone else. To the Father, you go through the Mother.
Maybe that’s a good question for a group: What is an intercessor? When are you an intercessor?

Maybe God is bad at expressing him/her/itself? Like the tradition of having someone else write your love letters.

“I could see the letters of the alphabet” spilling, jumping, making words. “I could see Gabriel stepping on them, tripping over them, picking up the ‘no’.

Which led me to – what if the no wasn’t really a no, but her just needing some time to think (Nicole’s comment from rehearsals) and Gabriel just didn’t leave any wait time.

“I was anticipating the large event of the ‘no’, and it isn’t there. It is almost a non-event. The events that seem to be larger are:
- Gabriel trying to find his words
- The alphabet spilling

In the work as it exists now, we don’t actually hear Gabriel ask the question.

We will understand the value of Mary’s no through Gabriel’s reaction. Off shoot – how was Gabriel to know that it had happened? (The conception)

“Made me think about Mary’s traditional response – a song of submission. Made me ask – how is this inside of me?”

What happens, when inspite of my disbelief – something amazing happens?

Where is eros? Does it exist? Is it absent?
Logos, the principle of the word – the thing that shuts her down. That makes rape rape.
What happens to Mary’s body? To the narrator’s body? In watching the phsycalitity, that which is more multiple than the words – what does it mean to desire in the world.


“Desire for me to tell more of the story” “Desire to hear a yes” “or hear a no. “
“In desiring to hear more of the story – I also knew exactly how that story should go as well. How I desired for that story to go.”
“maybe part of the eros is in the cooking which is to proceed the show?”

Response to the text messages during the show – if I reject them, its like mini refusals. A rehearsal of her refusals.

Erotic, orgasmic qualities of annunciation paintings. How they make pleasurable the act of being submissive.

The piece brings the luggage that everyone carries in regard to this material. The discussion has been interesting for me to learn about other people’s luggage.

My body, in textures and details does something in relation to the 2dimensionality of the story.

From my question about the coffee shop chat – question: How did you come to understand, how did come to learn this story?. Steve talked about basement Sunday school, the illustrations in the Sunday school book, “So when I see the performance, I get the tension of the visit, which is not in the bible story.”

Ann “The inescapabilty of the absence of faith”

“Mary was essentially whatever I brought to Mary” “that here the no was a non-event, and I desired a big no”

there is an edge of blasphemy. At what point does my telling become blasphemous? Is it the no? Is it the rape? What is the point of blasphemy? Who is the blasphemor? The artist? The audience who goes along with it? Mary’s voice?
Sometimes faith in faith itself can be blasphemous (Unitarians)

I talked about with the Susan Smith piece I didn’t want to exonerate her, but I wanted not the “why did she do it?” but the circumstances that lead women to bring their children to water’s edge.

What are some of the core ideas in the story?
Persuasion? Rejection? Impregnation?

What role do I play? What is my standpoint? Make it clear, or not.

What happens if the suggested gender of the angel Gabriel is female?

link to Joseph's Annuciation

To the right you will find various links. The link to the text "Joseph's Annunciation" by David H. Alpert is in that list.

Joseph's Annunciation

First to note: today is the Feast of the Annunciation. I brought muffins. The Snack of the Annunciation.

At rehearsal today: Celeste, Chip, Dana, Sharon

When I began playing with these Annunciation ideas a few years ago - Susan Taylor, a choreographer in Tampa who I have known for a long time, and who does real interesting work around mythologies and archetypes and stories, sent me "Joseph's Annunciation" by David H. Albert. In a book, I think called "The Healing Heart". (need to research that)
We began with Dana catching us up on her recent thoughts on Mary, and family - especially in light with stuff going on in her family. A piece of which was to say "No, I'm not coming home for Easter." She did a very interesting gesture of where her heart got taken. We catalogued that gesture.
Chip and Sharon were interested in Mary's family lineage. Where did she come from? Where did Joseph come from? How did they meet? Which segued nicely into the "Joseph's Annunciation" text I wanted to explore.
For the improvisation - I suggested that we take turns reading, and that the others explore the text in movement as it was being read. Chip was encouraged to move in with the dancers, rather than be on the sideline.

The piece begins "He loved her, deeply he loved her, but he didn't believe it. Not a word of it. And he was quite certain she didn't either." I videoed the improv. We can reference as needed. One visual I really liked - Sharon sitting cross legged reading, Chip sat down cross legged facing her, playing the violin in and out of her vocal choices with the reading

Sharon had to leave for a performance. Dana and I worked on the movement phrases from my solo. I wanted to see what would happen if she learned the phrases and then exploded them with a physicality that used more space and gross movement. She learned the material through the wrist rubbing section. She began choreographing a variation, but then we moved into another improvisation.
Chip, again encouraged to be in the action. Dana's task to continue to explore a different physicality for the movement. My task to stick to the more gestural, space confined phrases and loop the movement. What evolved was my continuing the movement phrases, Dana riffing off them, and then an intersection with the language of the basic phrases into a communication between two bodies and violin and violin player.
Highlight moments:
where the "words" where. Where they were found, what happened when they were ingested. Opening a tightly closed "no" jaw, and trying to put the words in. Trying to do it with love, not force.
Observation: Chip observed that he would like to play much more with the intersection of his body, and the body of his instrument (the bow in particular) into the movement motifs.

rehearsal process videos

The link to go to rehearsal process videos is to the right. I will keep it updated as much as I can.

mary revisited

loved being with the group today. the ease of responding,resonating,witnessing, and encouraging was satisfying. at the beginning of the rehearsal i was drawn to the shroud stretched across the back wall, the wonder of time, and how I felt so alone in the midst of the big questions being asked by the group.

big moment for me: Team Mary!

the trinity of voices

when I performed the solo section at Monument Mountain Regional High School a few weeks ago - one of the teachers made the observation about voices. She noted that the angel is "rehearsing" his/her lines. Mary is "spilling an alphabet" and "won't talk about what happened" and she only shakes her head, doesn't sound the word "no". And the other 'character', the Narrator speaks in definitions. A trinity of sorts.... The art teacher at the Atlanta School, completely on another track, sent this video clip to me for a piece called "In My Language" - which gave us food for thought/dance/talk in our rehearsal today. I hope it shows up for everyone. If not, go to Youtube and look up "In My Language" - make sure you watch it all the way through.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnylM1hI2jc

Playing Mary

As you know, ceeste, I was once chosen to be the "most Mary-like girl." When the prize was announced or enunciated, there were titters from the girls and something like grunts from the boys. By that point it was a humiliation, another kind of sin

but that story you have. What I re-membered as I read others' stories, was that I often"played Mary," with a blue blanket. I walked around wrapped in it -- wrapped, rapt -- imagining my own goodness -- sort of like inventing sins to confess to have the pleasure of absolution.

Ann

process

tuesday nicole, dana, sharon and I met. Chip showed up, violin in hand. I showed them the solo part that I have been working on. And invited everyone to take movement ideas or motifs that stuck with them, and create short phrases from that. We also played with the sounds/movement feel of "ahhh" versus "e". As in "annunciation' and "enunciation". To get started we improvised, Chip on violin, to the ahh/eee sounds and other images, ideas that were interesting to us. After the improvisation, everyone built phrases. From those phrases I began to construct a section of movement that could possibly be the wash to follow the solo. I talked to Chip about commentary - that I am thinking about how the solo could include the musical dialogue between voice/movement/violin and also his (perhaps) moments of spoken commentary.

rehearsing in the rain

in the gloom and the rain of georgia winter. woodstove cranking. dana and suzanne and I talk/danced some more improving. I have been resonating with the idea of time. Dana posed that time exists historically and simaltaneously. So Jesus walked on water, because he was in a time loop where there was a pier into the water, while the onlookers where in a time loop when that pier didn't exist.
Suzanne danced/talked that she could count on one hand the times she has been in church. One of those was when she didn't get to be Mary..... and the result was: no more church for Suzanne.
I am trying to collect some questions that might be interesting prompts for a wider exploration, say in a workshop situation. Like: What experiences in your life can you count on one hand?/with the corresponding movement exploration of "counting on one hand"
So if you think of any - post them!

2/19 rehearsal

I had a blast in rehearsal yesterday.  And being non-religious, this exploration of Mary has been singular for me, as she has never been someone I have given much thought or reflection to.  I liked the idea of her as risk-taker.... maybe because it was so delightful to be in a room moving with risk-takers.  Seems the mere action of being an artist these days, in this culture, is such a brave and often lonely act.  To quote Henry James regarding art "We work in the dark.  We do what we can.  We give what we have."

Loads of thanks-

Nicole

Rehearsal: February 19 with Celeste, Dana, Sharon and Nicole at the Beam. We improvised talking/dancing for about an hour. Somethings that came up:

if the Annunciation is an announcement - maybe its a classified ad that Gabriel places. "Looking for someone with enough faith in the impossible...". We jammed on other kinds of announcements - evites. Does Mary, and the others, get an Evite to be the mother of god?

Maybe she didn't say "no". She just wanted to think about it for a little while...On her own. Without being rushed. What is the skill set needed to make such a decision?

What is the weight/burden of stepping into the impossible (having the courage to), doing it, and then others follow behind in your footsteps?

Mary, virgin, perfect. Dana played Mary in second (?) grade. We need to hear this story.

Nicole was kicked out of Sunday School in kindergarten, for calling out what she felt was an unfair request of her brother.

We started talking/dancing at one point about the "microwave minute" culture we are in. Someone asked: "What is fast and good?" We came up with: water when you are thirsty.... but not cold water.

At the end, Sharon got into this beautiful, big, in the floor out of the floor movement jam. The rest of us slipped into the sides Witnessing. As Sharon pushed the dancing, her breathing became fuller and fuller. Nicole began to pick up on the breathing, and accompanying it with additional breathing. I liked the image/impact.

Sharon: "I wonder if what I am saying is blasphemous?" "Oh, it is" the rest of us said. Sharon said it felt judgemental. An image of us all holding signs: Blasphemy. ANother image: See no/Hear no/Say no evil monkeys calling out "blasphemy".

Structurally I am thinking the narrative moves forward but there are thought bubble (thanks Nicole) moments. THese take place spatially to let us know that they are thought bubbles on the narrative line.

We all seem to like the idea of cell phone text message instructions coming at us.

Celeste: (voice)
Mary was on the roof ready to jump...

Alexandra, Ann and Shawn appear
Fully present. Each thinks they are alone in the spotlight. They begin a movement phrase specific to their dance style.

They realize there are other people in the space.
Then they look at each other


Their voices Overlapping:
I thought I was playing Mary - I thought I was - She told me I could - No, I'm Mary, you're someone else

Discomfort

Alexandra: well I’m fourteen

Ann: Yes, but I’m catholic….well former I mean

Shawn: Me too, I mean, catholic, former

Ann and Shawn get caught up in that conversation,
“really, me too…. Etc” and also talking about the work they have created out of their relationship to their catholic-ness

Alexandra (stepping away from their conversation, hoping that she can now take the star role since the other two are busy in conversation:
Start again mom, I’m ready:

Celeste:
Mary is on the roof ready to jump


All three begin to
Go into the Mary on the roof movement sequence using their different movement styles.